Your Soul consists of four elements
Mind: (Knowledge. What you know.)
Will: (What you want. What you choose and refuse. Subconscious).
Heart: (Your physical self. Your desire/emotion. Love, hate, joy, anxiety, etc.).
Supernatural Consciousness/memory: (Knowledge of Spirit from the entirety of time, including your physical life).
Additionally, your soul is a separate entity from your spirit. It can often conflict with your energy and keep you from experiencing your life [moments & relationships] intended for your highest good. When you struggle in one area, there’s conflict in others.
He saw me. And despite my struggles against it, he knew me well. “I think you can’t let someone love you.” He spoke this truth into my soul in his gently direct way. He was right, but I didn’t truly hear him until many years later.
A natural consequence of abuse/neglect/abandonment/betrayal/loss is an inability, or low tolerance for intimacy and disallowing the natural tides of love in a relationship. Rather than rolling with the gentle flow of it, you struggle to live with love. To you, love feels like a rollercoaster ride within your soul. You have a physical response to a ride you stood in line for. You wanted it, but as soon as you buckle in and the ride begins, all you can think of is getting out.
You wrestle with allowing it.
You wrestle with the anxiety of it.
I love you. Come closer.
I love you. I have to run.
Love me. Come closer. I have to get away.
If you love me-
If you want me-
If you need me-
It’s too much – go away!
One volatile moment to the next, “Come closer. Go away.”
And while you get good at hiding this internal battle, the signs of it are all around.
It keeps you feeling sick, boxed in, and even claustrophobic most times. You long to be freed so you keep trying. One relationship to the next, you choose people [subconsciously] who reinforce (or allow) your desire to hold love at bay.
Trust issues come in many forms. You can have trust issues with people. Trust issues with life. Trust issues with God. Trust issues letting yourself feel. Trust issues letting yourself be soft. Etc.
Recognizing [where and with whom] you have trust issues is the first step to reconciling them for a more beautiful life.
Ask God to reveal any trust issues you may have.
Ask yourself this: If I trust [blank: insert your trust issue here], then that means [insert your limiting belief here].
Ask Jesus to reveal the root of your limiting beliefs, then wait and see your enlightenment.
Once you are enlightened, ask for healing in that area.
Find someone you can openly share with and if you can’t find a person, talk to God. Talk to yourself (a best friend for yourself is yourself, next to Jesus).
Journal as if you are talking to your best friend.
The reset will naturally unfold if you stay open. It’s a process.
Some good books to read/listen, if you’ve suffered abuse/neglect/abandonment/betrayal (it has elements everyone should be familiar with):
I Hate you – Don’t Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman
Sometimes I Act Crazy by Jerold J. Kreisman
As humans, none of us love utterly (only Jesus does), but we can use the following as a reliable high-bar.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8